So many of us, including myself are guilty of living in the ‘I’ll be happy, when…’ mindset, in which you’re always looking forward for the next thing that will bring you happiness, when the real solution is to alter your view to being happy now, with what you already have.
Some examples for reference – I’ll be happy when I meet ‘the one’, I’ll be happy when I get my dream job, I’ll be happy when I buy my own house, I’ll be happy when I go on holiday, I’ll be happy when I buy this new x, y or z. You get the idea.
But, let’s be real, are we actually completely happy if/when these things happen? Probably not, because we’re always looking into the future, for the next thing, especially if the things we thought would make us happy, didn’t quite meet expectation. It’s a never ending and vicious cycle which ends in feeling completely unsatisfied with the lives we’re living, when actually we really shouldn’t be.
I like to think I’m pretty lucky, I have a supportive family and boyfriend, good friends, I went to uni and got (read: worked bloody hard for) a good degree. On top of that, I then stumbled upon the decent job I am still in two years later, which helps to fund my car, my interests and my life, so why am I not happy?
It’s completely necessary to look to the future, it gives us goals, direction, a vision, but when it impacts the life you are living now, it’s not really a good thing.
There are a few ways which will help you to change your mindset, which I am trying to adopt too.
You have everything you need. Appreciate it.
You already have lots of things to be thankful for, it’s important to reflect and appreciate what you have now, not just wishing for the things you don’t have. When you actually think about it, you might realise that actually, you are happy with the way things are.
Do more of what you know makes you happy.
Take a note of the things you have done that make you happy. Do more of that. Seems easier said than done, but in reality it’s a pretty simple concept. It could be as small as taking the dogs for a walk in the countryside, grabbing your morning coffee, a phone call with your Mum, or something bigger, like running your business, your blog – the fun bit is, it can be absolutely anything.
Make the conscious decision to live happier.
Remind yourself to live in the now, take it all in because time goes so, so quickly – don’t wish it away on the next big thing that is the ‘key to happiness’. Bring yourself back from the future into the now and alter your view. It may take time and a few changes, but it is completely possible.
Are you guilty of having a ‘I’ll be happy when…’ mindset? How do you combat it?